Tuesday, July 15, 2008

collision course

This afternoon I was driving along in Groton. For those classic novel readers out there (o who am I kidding, classic novel readers aren't really visitin' this here blog now are they?) Groton is a place where part of the story of East of Eden takes place. The part where an evil young woman meets a very mean hard working man and they couple secretly, as the man's brother is made a complete fool of.

I don't know where I was going with that... you see, as I was driving I realized that I am having 2 of life's biggest most stressful events taking place concurrantly and it's ... well *whining* ittttts haaaarrrddd!

Mom is not doing well. Wish I could say more, but we never convinced her to give us power of attorney so now we are told nothing. Zilch. Zip. I just know that she's much MUCH more confused, and when I tried to spend a little time with her today, the tech was in process of wheeling her down for a CT scan. She's been having 'seizure' type activity several times a day. Last night she had another one and then ripped off the leads and pulled out her iv. Now she has a full time sitter until the seizures stop.

She has a benign brain tumor. It's been there for over 20 years, but it's just now finally gotten big enough to affect her health. She's also been diabetic for over 20 years. For anyone in health care, you know that adds up to a grim outlook.

I just don't want her to be in pain.

And as far as the house goes, I found out that there's alot of drug activity across the street from a guy I work with. His brother lives in the apartment building directly next door to the house. I'm sure he's right. So now I have cold feet. Don't get me wrong, I've lived across the street from drug dealers on and off and as long as I've minded my own business, there have been zero problems. But back then I was renting. I didn't care about stuff like property values, or stray bullets because we lived up on the 2nd and 3rd floor and the streets were fairly wide. Plus, this is New London, not Chicago or New York. Shootings almost exclusively happen between friends over money or love.

Part of the reason I got the place cheap is b/c the property values were driven down, I know that. Put it on a nicer street and it would be 100k more.

I'll have to pray, and sleep on it.

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What's the story?

During the past 46 years, I've lived in Connecticut. I've traveled up and around the U.S. and to Puerto Rico, and loved every minute. I've had 4 children who are now fantastically talented adult artists and comedians. I've been married and then divorced and then engaged and then single and finally *big sigh* content. I've grown into a darn good nurse, cook, seamstress, and Mom.

Maybe one of these days I'll get this 'writing' thing down, too.

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