Thursday, March 12, 2009

I stand on the beach alone,and gaze at the misty blue... I wish I could pause this moment forever...

This is the only place where I dare to exhale that I know I will be alone for the rest of my life. I won't tell it anywhere else to any living person. On the few times I said something the hearer was moved to tell me I am wrong and to try and comfort me by telling me I am wrong. Based on whimsey and only whimsey they tell me I will meet someone. Stop and think. Add up the facts. I will be single for the rest of my life.

I don't want comfort in it, I just want someone to say "you're right." And then, if they absolutely must try to make the awkward situation better then they can say 'and I know you are strong and will be happy."

Not "oh no you'll meet someone." Not "STOP SAYING THAT. You can find someone if you want to."

Help me to embrace myself, as a single person, who can find happy moments and worthwhile work. If I seem to be getting lonely just remind me that being single for the rest of my life isn't the worst thing that could happen to me.

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What's the story?

During the past 46 years, I've lived in Connecticut. I've traveled up and around the U.S. and to Puerto Rico, and loved every minute. I've had 4 children who are now fantastically talented adult artists and comedians. I've been married and then divorced and then engaged and then single and finally *big sigh* content. I've grown into a darn good nurse, cook, seamstress, and Mom.

Maybe one of these days I'll get this 'writing' thing down, too.

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I am where I do and am not where I don't. Not what I was or will be, just 'me'.

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