Monday, August 25, 2008

Salem CT circa 1945

Salem CT circa 1945
Originally uploaded by innitpam

here's the thing: we spent most of the day clearing out her apartment and we're not done.

this is a pic of my Mom when she was a young lady living on the farm. she was usually a ball of fire. she loved coffee, could drink a pot a day. she looks intense in pretty much every other photo I have ever seen of her so this one strikes a strange cord with me.

as a petite girl, she managed to get picked to squirm into tight spaces on the submarines in making at the Electric Boat yard, as one of the first women welders. I am definately not pro war in any way, bit I do feel proud of her for being trustworthy and conscientous enough for that responsiblity.

well, after all these years she has very precious few items from the past. all of her things have come from good will, and some items are in triplicate, i.e. the little veggie choppers and lidless coffee travel mugs, etc. there is, however a pair of older cameras that I am in love with. a tiffany style lamp she got from wally world will go in my daughter Tiffany's room. but all in all, it's going to be donated or junked.

some of her old photos are scanned, and I will be getting to scanning the rest next week after I recover.....from sorting and packing and lugging. from cleaning. from ending this long chapter and starting another one.

I wish I knew why this is so hard. They're just 'things'. I guess it hurts that I have no support during it. My own kids aren't interested in helping, and they work so they're understandably reluctant to drag boxes and what not at the end of the day. My sister lives hours away and has had nothing whatsoever to do with the process. My ex, any friends I thought I had, aren't here to help.

My Mom wants her little 147.00 deposit back. She's not going to get it regardless of what I do because there has been some minor damage to cabinets, and stains on the rug.

I am tempted to take what I want and walk away. I can make more than 147 dollars if I pick up one extra shift this week.

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What's the story?

During the past 46 years, I've lived in Connecticut. I've traveled up and around the U.S. and to Puerto Rico, and loved every minute. I've had 4 children who are now fantastically talented adult artists and comedians. I've been married and then divorced and then engaged and then single and finally *big sigh* content. I've grown into a darn good nurse, cook, seamstress, and Mom.

Maybe one of these days I'll get this 'writing' thing down, too.

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I am where I do and am not where I don't. Not what I was or will be, just 'me'.

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