Friday, May 30, 2008

bump along the way

Today the weather is perfect. Perfect, only if you like honey sunshine, velvet breeze, and the prettiest clouds ever made.

I want to hold this perfect weather day in my hand and feel it's cool, fine surface and it's weight solid. But.. today feels rusted around the edges. Each time I tighten my grip, bits of the edge crumbles into my palm, reminding me not examine it too thoroughly. Just cup it in my hand for a few hours before the change from perfect to gritty happens.

Work again.. I can't help but think about how this stint is unfolding, and I'm turning around on a spindle over and over seeing myself at the root of the problem, and then again I have to accept that there are a few really odd happenings or coincidences. It would be easier to just say 'I started off badly, so all that needs happen is for me to just be kinder, problem solved, the end.' But there is more. Money is involved, a large sum actually. So, that is the one difference between all my other experiences with working and this particular place.

After all this thinking I remember the people in Myanmar, and China and the Middle East conflicts. Things haven't even gotten nearly as bad as I know they eventually will. Gas is 4.22, not 7 bux. My biggest stress is at work. I have a job and a home and clean water and plenty of food and my indoor plumbing works fine. I might even be purchasing a house near the ocean.

In sunshine, in rain, it helps to know that my Creator is on my side. He wants me to be careful, and kind, and I will. He has already given me so much. So, if I need to take one day at a time, so be it.

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What's the story?

During the past 46 years, I've lived in Connecticut. I've traveled up and around the U.S. and to Puerto Rico, and loved every minute. I've had 4 children who are now fantastically talented adult artists and comedians. I've been married and then divorced and then engaged and then single and finally *big sigh* content. I've grown into a darn good nurse, cook, seamstress, and Mom.

Maybe one of these days I'll get this 'writing' thing down, too.

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I am where I do and am not where I don't. Not what I was or will be, just 'me'.

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