Monday, January 16, 2012

A super long time ago, I was introduced to Body For Life, the book, and I started that journey with hopes to win some competition.  I did eventually lose 85 lbs and went from size 22 to size 8.  The food was ok, but when I was very slim, I found I had to eat very little food, and exercise alot to maintain, and well.. it was crappy.  My back and knees hurt, and I was always starving. 

Very slowly I gained and gained and eventually stopped exercising totally.

Then.. I was watching world news on tv and saw an old man walking in the mountains on snowy paths, with no shoes.  It may have been Afghanistan, but regardless, it hit me hard.  Feeling like such a spoiled usless lump of turd I knew that I had to change my ways.   And so I joined weight watchers and did the 'core' program and lost 50 lbs.   But with core program, you can eat until you are full.  So I soon realized I was eating to the point of discomfort, every day, and I wasn't actually able to change the basic attitude that got me into this mess.

So, again, I slowly gained all of it back, and was at a size 22 in a few years. Then I remember when I turned 46 it didn't matter to me at all what I looked like.  I didn't have a mirror, aside from the small one above the bathroom sink.  And every so often I didn't feel so great.   Then it was discovered that I had high blood pressure.  A few years later, and my doc has told me to go on a 'no concentrated sweets' diet.  So I guess the fasting blood sugar test was a little high. 

Well, all in all one would think that I would be joining weight watchers again because of my size.  Or to just avoid a stroke.  But believe it or not, I have started a new hobby that has given me a new attitude.

So, havng accepted that sometimes I can feel hungry during the day and it just isn't all that agonizing, and after eating anything and everything I wanted for almost 8 years, I guess I'm over it.  On to the next phase of life, where I will live at peace with food, and 'some' will be more than enough.

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What's the story?

During the past 46 years, I've lived in Connecticut. I've traveled up and around the U.S. and to Puerto Rico, and loved every minute. I've had 4 children who are now fantastically talented adult artists and comedians. I've been married and then divorced and then engaged and then single and finally *big sigh* content. I've grown into a darn good nurse, cook, seamstress, and Mom.

Maybe one of these days I'll get this 'writing' thing down, too.

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I am where I do and am not where I don't. Not what I was or will be, just 'me'.

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