IMG_3369

IMG_3369
Originally uploaded by Sebastien Bretonneau

ahhh, those wonderful shexy blues. a trip to the paint store with this photo, and the matching results will make my life complete.

Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the Beast
Originally uploaded by DerekBrad Images

Less than a week. I can hardly stand it. All systems go. We "will" have lift off on Saturday morning at 0830.


(excuse me while I run around the house squeeling like a school girl)

fall treats

Today I took my Mama out shopping at 2:30 pm. By 5:30 pm I was an exhausted, stressed out mess.

O great, and now I just watched a commercial, then swung my chair around back toward the desk and *CRACKED* my knee when I tried to quickly push myself up to the keyboard. Ouch.


Work is swinging back and forth between great!! and truely bad.... someone that wants to go back to getting tons of overtime is actively and deliberatly trhing to drive me out. Example:

(I am in the hall working 20 or so feet from the nurses station. She had returned from her lunch break at some point when I didn't see her come back. She is sitting outside of my field of vision.)

A voice: 'Are you going ?'

*me not answering because I had no idea who she was talking to and about what*

A curt, loud voice two seconds later:

'PAM!!!' Are you going to break now??!!??


Frequently, she askes me a question she doesn't officially make sure she addresses me, and then when I don't answer her immediately she barks at me. Literally, because when she does it in front of the nurses aides, sometimes THEY even will sigh and make a comment about her rudeness, so I know it's not my imagination.

This happens a handful of times every single day we work together. I have had enough of her nonsense.

Grand Central Terminal HDR

Grand Central Terminal HDR
Originally uploaded by andy in nyc

Walking around inside GCT makes my heart skip a beat and my breath quicken. There are millions of souls walking thru here every year, each with a personal journey. It's too bad there's no way to just sit and people watch for hours. That's what I would do.

D&G @ NM

D&G @ NM
Originally uploaded by innitpam

I want this really bad, but do you know that I can get my dream flat screen with hd for about the same price? Well, if you didn't you do now.

Sunday 03

Sunday 03
Originally uploaded by tstreet

I've got one of those head colds that makes your nose feel stuffy sore and just plain huge.


I hope everyone out there in blogland is doing well. Me, not so much. *sniffle*
Too bad I can't taste or smell anything because I am dying to make this http://fortheloveofcooking-recipes.blogspot.com/2008/10/pumpkin-bread.html pumpkin bread from For the Love of Cooking.

Yet ANOTHER reason why I must go to Morrocco

And HERE IT IS:

http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/moroccan-chicken-with-apricot-and-olive-relish

NO it's not just a link. It's a recipe for the most tremendous, ferociously delicious chicken dish ever conceived by mankind! And where does it come from? Morocco!!!!! Frikkin $%^&*&^%$@! MOROCCO!!! For many years I have been wanting to travel there. To walk where moroccan people and animals walk. And to even breathe in the same air and dust and bits of twigs and hair that make up the dirt of Morocco.

Funny things is, I don't really know why. Maybe it's because an elderly man (who had a very fulfilling life) told me just before he died that of all the places he had been to in the world, his trip to Morocco was the best one ever. He couldn't really say why either. The food, the sights, the people, they were his favorite. I liked him. He had a successful Italian bakery in Groton that was open for about 50 years before he got sick and retired. He had a couple of great kids, and a beautiful woman, who traveled with him, and was at his side when he died.


So, I want to go. Really really bad.

singer delux zig zag 628

singer delux zig zag 628
Originally uploaded by innitpam

This poor baby was sitting out on the side of the road in Groton. The house was set far back from the road, in a very quiet country setting. It had rained, so there was still some moisture clinging to it.

I took it home and just ordrered the manual from an online seller. Tomorow I'll try cleaning and oiling to make it work. My other singer has a power cord which may work with it. We'll see.

if only

My realtor contacted me with another proposal from the seller (bank actually since it's a foreclosure).

I have them where I want them, HOWEVER, I do not have my income where I want it, nor do I have the house where I want it for that matter.

The 2nd job isn't providing me with any regular income as it had in the past years, AND the house is still sitting in a bad neighborhood. So despite a very nice set of conditions, I am still going to have to walk away.

O well.

'N'other news: I decided to become an Avon Lady! Sort of a whim, but what the heck. I've always liked the products, and I feel ready to commit to making it work, unlike the past times that I've tried rep jobs for Lia Sophia and Watkins.

THIS is what happens when you're helping. Your apartment is chock a block full of stuff. Furniture, more linens, more cleaning products than you can shake a dirty stick at, old photos that you thought were lost forever, etc.

Slowly making headway here, and I am, to be honest VERY thankful that she is letting me keep pretty much whatever I want. Hey at least I won't need to buy towels, curtins, or paper products for another year.

Salem CT circa 1945

Salem CT circa 1945
Originally uploaded by innitpam

here's the thing: we spent most of the day clearing out her apartment and we're not done.

this is a pic of my Mom when she was a young lady living on the farm. she was usually a ball of fire. she loved coffee, could drink a pot a day. she looks intense in pretty much every other photo I have ever seen of her so this one strikes a strange cord with me.

as a petite girl, she managed to get picked to squirm into tight spaces on the submarines in making at the Electric Boat yard, as one of the first women welders. I am definately not pro war in any way, bit I do feel proud of her for being trustworthy and conscientous enough for that responsiblity.

well, after all these years she has very precious few items from the past. all of her things have come from good will, and some items are in triplicate, i.e. the little veggie choppers and lidless coffee travel mugs, etc. there is, however a pair of older cameras that I am in love with. a tiffany style lamp she got from wally world will go in my daughter Tiffany's room. but all in all, it's going to be donated or junked.

some of her old photos are scanned, and I will be getting to scanning the rest next week after I recover.....from sorting and packing and lugging. from cleaning. from ending this long chapter and starting another one.

I wish I knew why this is so hard. They're just 'things'. I guess it hurts that I have no support during it. My own kids aren't interested in helping, and they work so they're understandably reluctant to drag boxes and what not at the end of the day. My sister lives hours away and has had nothing whatsoever to do with the process. My ex, any friends I thought I had, aren't here to help.

My Mom wants her little 147.00 deposit back. She's not going to get it regardless of what I do because there has been some minor damage to cabinets, and stains on the rug.

I am tempted to take what I want and walk away. I can make more than 147 dollars if I pick up one extra shift this week.

Disney - Mad Tea Party

Disney - Mad Tea Party
Originally uploaded by Express Monorail

I didn't sleep much last night. There were ideas about people and shapes outlined in bold lines that wouldn't stop whirling around no matter how much self-talking and distractions I tried.

If you've ever been stuck... well, most of us know how that feels. Most grownups have either rented an apartment or attempted to get a loan approved for a house, and things didn't go right.

I think I've had a very close call at being a victim of predatory lending practices. It seems that I'm going to be ok, but I won't really know for sure today.

Mickey Topiary

Mickey Topiary
Originally uploaded by pfeifferphotos

Nope, I can't get excited about this yet.

I told the scheduler at work I need time in November off, and she said "put it in the book". Also it looks like I am not guaranteed the loan for the house, so I might be out 800 bux AND lose the big old house by the sea.

Sorry, Mickey. I'm not in the mood.

Living Room - 3

Living Room - 3
Originally uploaded by Thrift Store Addict

Here's the thing.....

When ever I contemplate decorating with an island or 'tiki' theme, I start thinking about vacations. Then, well, I sit down to really enjoy meditating on the memories of Puerto Rico and Florida etc etc. I might even log on and browse pix of such things and then nothing gets done.

Can you imagine how totally unproductive I would be if I was actually living in a room with tropical themed pieces? And colors? And maybe some slack key guitar music and cocoanut air freshener?

Just because the people across the street have already painted a large mural on their house with palm trees and a sandy beach doesn't mean I could get anything done if my living room suggested the great room of a fantastic Polynesian hotel. Theres *already* going to be salty sea breezes coming into the windows. You couldn't pry me out of there if I had wicker furniture and a CD playing Mitzi Gaynor's "Gonna wash that man right outta my hair" in the background. Go to work? What, not when there is pineapple juice to drink and hula lessons to be had.

I wonder where I can get a vintage South Pacific movie poster?

mutter

mutter
Originally uploaded by coquet's cache

Have you seen the commercial for the newest Kevin Costner movie? My favorite line from the previews is when one of the politicians says:

"If you knew my Mother you would understand."

That line totally is something I would jokingly say about my Mom. People who know us, know that we raise our voices and really just speak our minds without being cruel. Sometimes people step slowly and carefully away when we get started. Apparely they've never just said what they are thinking without reservation, knowing full well that their family member will forgive them and love them anyway.

So, I can joke with a clear conscience. She can complain about me to her hearts content, and it's ok. I couldn't love her more, regardless.

Now she lives in Mystic Manor. I feel good about her being there, and she really seems to be content there. Her health is 100% better, she sees us more often, it's become the silver lining, that's what I think.

collision course

This afternoon I was driving along in Groton. For those classic novel readers out there (o who am I kidding, classic novel readers aren't really visitin' this here blog now are they?) Groton is a place where part of the story of East of Eden takes place. The part where an evil young woman meets a very mean hard working man and they couple secretly, as the man's brother is made a complete fool of.

I don't know where I was going with that... you see, as I was driving I realized that I am having 2 of life's biggest most stressful events taking place concurrantly and it's ... well *whining* ittttts haaaarrrddd!

Mom is not doing well. Wish I could say more, but we never convinced her to give us power of attorney so now we are told nothing. Zilch. Zip. I just know that she's much MUCH more confused, and when I tried to spend a little time with her today, the tech was in process of wheeling her down for a CT scan. She's been having 'seizure' type activity several times a day. Last night she had another one and then ripped off the leads and pulled out her iv. Now she has a full time sitter until the seizures stop.

She has a benign brain tumor. It's been there for over 20 years, but it's just now finally gotten big enough to affect her health. She's also been diabetic for over 20 years. For anyone in health care, you know that adds up to a grim outlook.

I just don't want her to be in pain.


And as far as the house goes, I found out that there's alot of drug activity across the street from a guy I work with. His brother lives in the apartment building directly next door to the house. I'm sure he's right. So now I have cold feet. Don't get me wrong, I've lived across the street from drug dealers on and off and as long as I've minded my own business, there have been zero problems. But back then I was renting. I didn't care about stuff like property values, or stray bullets because we lived up on the 2nd and 3rd floor and the streets were fairly wide. Plus, this is New London, not Chicago or New York. Shootings almost exclusively happen between friends over money or love.

Part of the reason I got the place cheap is b/c the property values were driven down, I know that. Put it on a nicer street and it would be 100k more.

I'll have to pray, and sleep on it.

New London

here is a link to the sailfest vid on the local paper's website.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1281296499/bctid1667925246

Funny how things unfolded. I found I had 2 messages on my cell phone Friday morning. The first one was my realtor:

"Hey Pam, just checking in to tell you that the bank countered with $$$$ .. let me know what you would like to do." (So I am thrilled b/c that was my target price! Happiness ensued!!)

Phone: next message:

My aunt Bev's voice comes on, and she takes a serious tone. "Pamela, your mother's in the hospital."


So I was thrilled about getting a price settled on the house for about um, 4 seconds. Eh, no biggie. That's been the story of my life.

another lovely Janet Bell painting

This art by Janet Bell sums up why I am moving. I know every day isn't pretty. Sea air can be the coldest air there is, but when it's a good day, it's heavenly.

housenumber4 update

Back in May I saw a 4 bedroom house in New London. Now, the listing had been showing up in my searches for the home, but I discounted it over and over again, until one day..........



I took a chance and saw it. My realtor and I had trouble finding it because it's on a somewhat secluded 1 way street. (bonus) It turned out to be a remodeled federal with hard woods, new tilt out windows, gas heat and a fireplace. Oh and off street parking too. (bonus bonus bonus bonus)

So I bid. The bank said it was such a low bid they wouldn't condescend to reply. I walked away and saw a few more houses.


Well.... This past Monday the bank decided to drop the price of the house from 150k to 132,8something. I resubmitted my bid, they counter offered a great price, and I accepted.

YAY!!!

House 9

House 9
Originally uploaded by coquet's cache

This might wind up being home if choice number 1 (aka house number 4) falls through.

It's on a quarter acre and is already set up as a 2 family, with plenty of off street parking, gas heat, remodeled 2nd floor unit, on a main bus route and 1/2 mile from down town.